The Curse Of 34

Chapter 1 - An innocent discovery

It all started, innocently enough, in 1986. Two Southern California high school students, who were good friends, were both employed by Best Products in Torrance. Best Products was a warehouse/catalog shopping store. One day they were working in the warehouse and discussing the products in the catalog. While they were looking at the digital alarm clocks section they made an observation that all the clocks in the catalog had 12:34 displayed as the time. A conversation ensued regarding what was so significant about 12:34. Little did they know at the time of the impact this discussion would have on their lives and the lives of those who they would come into contact with during the rest of their lives.

It was only a few weeks later while on their lunch break at school they noticed the time was 12:34. They laughed in amusement as they recalled their conversation in the warehouse. Their lunch break started at 12:18 and by the time they met up, walked to the parking lot, got in the car, and reached their destination for lunch, usually one of their homes, they always managed to glance at the time at 12:34. They continued to laugh at the occurrences throughout the year, as it became almost a daily event during lunch.

Chapter 2 - It begins to spread

It was on the way back home from seeing a friend's band play when they both witnessed the first AM occurrence of 12:34. Their first reaction was that of amusement, but both, it was later discovered, had a strange feeling that this was more than a coincidence.

It was later that same year, 1986, when they witnessed within a 3-hour span, 6:34, 7:34, and 8:34 marks on the clock. It was then that they new they had unleashed something purely evil. There was no more laughter when the evil presented itself several times over the course of the year. Anger and fear took the place of their laughter. No longer were they comfortable in asking the time when going out for the evening. No longer did they check the clock on their way to their destination to see if they were going to be on time. For when they did, it was almost unavoidable that the evil curse of 34 would present itself. The occurrences continued on throughout 1986 and into 1987.

Chapter 3 - The remission

Due to the fear of the curse, the two no longer discussed the occurrences, though both of them, individually, would continue to experience the curse. The decision to not discuss the curse seemed to reduce the number of occurrences.

The two remained friends after graduating from high school in 1987, but chose different paths in life. One continued on pursing a career in music while the other continued his educational pursuits and attended college in Northern California. It was during this time period when the curse seemed to be eliminated.

Chapter 4 - The reawakening

The two friends continued to talk on a regular basis during the remission of the curse and had not mentioned the incidents they had experienced together years before… until one day, the friend from Northern California made the fateful mistake of bringing up the curse. He mentioned how strange it was that the curse had affected both of them.

This conversation caused an argument between the two for fear that the friend from Northern California had unleashed the curse again. He contended that it was a silly notion that this curse was actually a curse at all. It would be proved later that he was wrong, as the curse was indeed unleashed again.

Chapter 5 - Spreading the curse

The friend from Northern California tried to get an understanding of what was going on. He didn't understand what it all meant. In an attempt to fully understand the occurrences of the number 34, the friend from Northern California began to tell his friends about the 34 anomaly. This would later prove to be a very large mistake. Not only did he not obtain the answers he was looking for, he had unknowingly spread the curse along to the people in his life that he cared most for - his family and his friends.

His friends began to experience the curse of 34. They, not unlike himself when he first experienced the anomaly, were amused and told him of their experiences. It was at that moment that he knew what he had done was unleashed something purely evil upon his friends. He tried to get them to stop discussing the occurrences, but it was too late. His friends, unknowingly had started passing along the story to their friends. The curse spread to other items other than just the time. While scanning channels on TV, they would notice sports figures that wore the number 34, price totals of their trips to the store would include 34 (either 34 and some change or the change amount would be .34), their fast food orders would be number 34 to go.

The friend from Northern California HellaDumb's own, Derek. The friend from Southern California is Rich (see: EarthTone music in the friends of HellaDumb section). Now that you know the story of the curse of 34 you too will begin to notice the occurrences. It is with much regret that I pass the curse along to you, but it is only in the hopes of spreading the curse to enough people that it might finally reach someone who knows the meaning of it all and can put it to an end.

Here are just a few of the terribly evil and/or frightening things that happened on March 4th (3-4) [found at:]:
1924 "Happy Birthday To You" published by Claydon Sunny
1936 1st flight of airship Hindenburg, Germany
1944 1st US bombing of Berlin
1945 Finland declares war on Nazi-Germany
1964 Jimmy Hoffa convicted of jury tampering
1966 John Lennon, says "We (Beatles) are more popular than Jesus"
1977 Earthquake in Romania, kills 1,541
1978 Chicago Daily News, founded in 1875, publishes last issue
1979 200th episode of "All in the Family"
1989 Actress Phoebe Cates marries actor Kevin Kline
1990 20th Easter Seal Telethon
1995 George Foreman loses WBA boxing title, refusing to fight Tony Tucker
1997 President Clinton bans federally funded human cloning research
1997 Comet Hale-Bopp directly above the Sun (1.04 AU)

The following can attest to the curse of 34. They all died on March 4th (3-4) [found at:]:
1172 Stephan III King of Hungary (1162-72), dies
1484 Kazimierz the Saint, Polish ruler/saint, dies at 25
1595 Robert Southwell English poet, hanged for becoming a Catholic priest
1615 Hans von Aachen German painter, dies
1617 Arcangelo Crivelli composer, dies at 70
1793 Isaac Ouwater Amsterdam painter/cartoonist, dies at 44
1794 Henri D count de Larochejacquelin Fr Royalist Army leader, dies at 21
1804 Karl Leopold Rollig composer, dies
1805 Jean-Baptiste Greuze French painter, dies at 79
1831 Georg Michael Telemann composer, dies at 82
1839 Ignace Antoine Ladurner pianist/composer, dies at 72
1851 Michael Henkel composer, dies at 70
1852 Nikolai Gogol writer, dies at 43
1864 Thomas Starr King Unitarian clergyman (Christianity & Humanity), dies
1866 Alexander Campbell Irish/US founder Disciples of Christ, dies at 77
1876 Alfred Holmes composer, dies at 38
1877 Hendrik E van Rijgersma Dutch Governor (St Maarten), dies at 42
1883 Alexander H Stephens Vice President Confederate States, dies at 71
1888 Amos Bronson Alcott US theory/poet (Table Talk), dies at 88
1903 Joseph H Shorthouse English writer (John Inglesant), dies at 68
1916 Franz Marc German painter/co-founder (Blaue Reiter), killed at 36
1918 Eugene D'Harcourt composer, dies at 58
1922 Bert Williams famous black, dies at 46, in New York NY
1925 Moritz Moszkowski Polish/German composer, dies at 70
1933 Willie Walker US jazz singer/guitarist (Dupree Blues), dies at 36
1936 Ruben Mattias Liljefors composer, dies at 64
1941 Edoardo Mascheroni composer, dies at 81
1942 Yuliya Lazarevna Veysberg composer, dies at 62
1943 Nikolaos "Sokrates" Politis Greek foreign minister, dies at 71
1943 Pieter C Boutens Dutch poet (Beatrijs), dies at 73
1948 Antonin Artaud French poet/actor (Napoleon), dies at 51
1948 Elsa Brändström [Angel of Siberia], Swedish philanthropist, dies at 59
1953 Sergei S Prokoviev Russian composer (Peter & the wolf), dies at 61
1954 Georg Gohler composer, dies at 79
1954 Noel Gay [Richard Moxon Armitage], composer, dies at 55
1958 Albert Kuyle [Lou Kuitenbrouwer], writer (Jesus' Carpet), dies at 54
1960 Leonard Warren US baritone, dies on stage at 48
1962 Cairine R Wilson 1st Canadian female senator (appointed), dies at 77
1963 William Carlos Williams US physician/poet, dies at 79
1966 Janis Medins composer, dies at 75
1968 Alexandre Cellier composer, dies at 84
1974 Adolph Gottlieb US painter, dies at 71
1981 Torin Thatcher actor (Houdini, Isranbul, Lady Godiva), dies
1983 Hergé [Georges Rémi], Belgian cartoonist (Rin-Tin-Tin), dies at 75
1984 Shalva Mikhaylovich Mshvelidze composer, dies at 79
1986 Henri Knap Dutch journalist/writer, dies at 75
1986 Richard Manuel rock vocalist/pianist (Band), commits suicide at 40
1991 Vance Colvig actor (UHF, Barfly, My Chauffeur), dies at 72
1992 Arthur Babbitt Disney animator (Mr Magoo, Goofy), dies at 84 of heart failure
1992 C Meijer Dutch editor in chief (Typhoon), dies
1992 Christian K Nelson inventor (Eskimo Pie), dies at 98
1992 Mary Osborne jazz guitarist, dies at 70 of liver cancer
1992 Nestor Almendros Spanish/US cameraman (Kramer vs Kramer), dies at 61
1993 Art Hodes Russian/US jazz/blues pianist/editor (Jazz Record), dies
1993 Richard Sale writer/director (Oscar, Torpedo Run), dies at 80
1994 Guus Verstraete Sr Dutch actor/director (2 Drops of Water), dies at 79
1994 John Candy actor (SCTV, Uncle Buck), dies from a heart attack at 43
1995 Eden Ahbez songwriter, dies at 86
1996 Barbara Lewis British obituarist, dies at 55
1996 Minnie Pearl country comedienne (Grand Ole Opry), dies at 84

Home - Features - Reviews - Animation - Games - HellaDumb Bios - Photos - Cinema of the HellaDumb - Downloads - ARGH Radio - Moose's Question - Horoscopes - Web Board - Merchandise - Friends of HellaDumb - Links - Ask Johnny Piccolo - HellaDumb Glossary - Submit